How to deal with people you are not friends/together with anymore?

As I promised, this is a guide how you can behave you liked a lot, but because of certain circumstances are not friends anymore.

There are two options:
- You are giving them a silent treatment to get them back.
- You are seriously done, but don't want any trouble.

You should know, what you really want and what would be best for you (two) . Don't forget to keep your dignity. Your decisions make you as a person.

So if you plan to get them back as a friend, you can try the silent treatment. Usually applied on boys, rather than on girls, especially if you go for a longer period of time. Boys tend to suffer more on a loss after a certain time and girls usually cry, shout and then get a distraction. Might also be another boy ;) (It is very stereotypical and actually meant more as a joke than a real advise.)
The silent treatment can only be applied if you already are kind of important to someone.

If you are really ready to quit a friendship in good terms:

• Be polite, say Hi-Bye. 
• Go your own way.
• Don't badmouth them. 
• Try to avoid them, don't stalk.
• Don't play mind games, this will hurt you more than your friend.
• If they try to be your friend again, think about it. It might be just for their ego. They want to be more important to you then you are to them. (Or they are serious about it, use your subjective opinion ;))

So, let's say you need something from this person. These things always happen, when you least expect/want them to happen. What can you do then?

I usually go for the "Honest, there is nothing wrong about it version." So I will just go and tell them what I need and since I have been nice to them (bullet points), I expect them to be nice too in return.

But honesty is as I think not the most clever thing to go for. Even if you are not that interested into caring too much about it, you probably have to try harder to get something from them. They gained importance after getting asked for a favor....so probably on a trip now.

What you can do instead is: Ask a friend to ask your former friend.

If they still say no or are just behaving openly like a douche. Just leave it. You won't get it anyway.

You won't get ANYTHING out of here, you are just wasting time. There was a reason you quit the friendship in the first place and this is one of the reminders.


If you quit the friendship in bad terms:

There are no rules. Go for it. Steal it. Beat him. Whatever you want, but don't get caught or hurt anybody.


Thank you for reading :D I really appreciate it! I would love to read some comments! Tell me, about your experience with best friends gone bitches. Looove a good bitch-story ;)

How to avoid being used?

How to avoid being used?

We all know these people, who are only nice to you if they need something. How can you detect these people and make them stop or even better make yourself stop?

History: So we have a group of 5 to do a project. In the end, we ended up to be 3 people attending the meetings and doing the work, which was ok. But then one of the missing students, showed up at the appointment with our teacher, to collect the mark and the other one wrote us after the meeting if our project was done...

Clearly, this is a sign of being used. Some people can still stay strong and just say "NO", but there is also people, who don`t even realized that they are being used.

So lets start:

1. Detect if you are being used. If you already know you might be the victim, stop whining and crying, because as always,
   
   "If you know something is wrong, you can start making it right."
2. Think about your benefits. Most of the time, you are getting used you won`t carry a real benefit from it. (By the way: experience doesn`t always count as a benefit.)
3. Is this person important to you? Of course there is a difference between family/friend ro a stranger. So keep that in mind too.
4. Limit your time. If you think you want to help even without any benefits, its cool. but keep your time limited, otherwise you will have to do a lot more then expected.
5. SAY "NO". This is the actual thing you need to know. But even though it may notseem like it, the most difficult one. But believe me the first time you say it might be easy, but then you will get used to it and you might even enjoy it. :D
6. DON'T Apologize! Its your right and your time, so you can say NO, whenever you want. Keep that in mind. People who are getting used tend to apologize a lot and
   
   "If you stop behaving like a victim, you won`t be a victim!"
7. Don't even feel bad. The person asking you for a favour is probably already looking for someoneelse to ask to help them. Its not the end of the world and now that you have a voice, you are probably more respected then before.
8. Build up your confidence. You are an important person, otherwise people wouldn`t ask you for a favour. Your time is valuable and so are you. Keep in mind and tell yourself that you did something good. Something important, that needed to be done.
   
   
   

   I hope I could help you and I wish you luck and fun standing up against these kind of people. Comment if you want and don't forget.
   
   "Be yourself, but try being better too. ;)"